(no subject)

[tirinian]

Ok, I have been working pretty much flat out on Arcadia, with occasional breaks for actual work for work, and not much else. Including the first honest-to-god all nighter I've pulled in I don't know how many years. Still, I think it's going well, and the players seem to be enjoying it, so that's all good. I am hopeful they'll be telling stories about it for a while to come. Although I'm not sure if I'll be hearing those stories - the game is ridiculously full of first-time players, and even among the fogies, there's only one or two that I socialize with much outside of the guild.

With Germany graduated and skuffle gone, there's really not any undergrads I socialize with outside of the guild, either. CPB occasionally, but he got waitlisted for time constraints (as did mjperson, sadly, 'cause it would have been really nice to see him play something again). 4th WAR has been awesome about letting me crash there when I've wanted/needed to crash on campus, and they have been similarly awesome about feeding the gm team (until our great game mommies took over when game started), but while I feel like most everyone there is happy to see me and chat when I show up, without Germany there's no one who really counts as a *reason* for me to show up and hang out, unless I'm picking up CPB to go to a play.

I'm sure this is where pelkofer or maverickseraph or someone thinks I should just accept that it's time to stop trying to hang out with kids who weren't born when I started playing these crazy games, and I'm sure there's some truth in that. I'm never really quite sure why the kids actually continue to put up with me crashing their fun. But it *is* fun, and I like it enough/it gets me going enough that I pull all nighters for it, and I can't think what I could possibly do instead that would energize me the same way.

Anyway, the thing this was originally going to be about is that this round of sleep dep has been extreme enough, compared to anything I've done in ages, that I've been oddly self-aware about the level to which it is actually impairing me. It is strange to think "you know, I could solve that if I was more awake, but I'm not", and I don't remember ever really hitting that state back when I did pull all nighters frequently. I wonder if it's an actual change, or just something I'm more aware of now for some reason. And now, I'm going to go to bed and try to get some sleep before work tomorrow, and tomorrow we'll be half-way through.

Comments

[dpolicar]

I wonder if it's an actual change, or just something I'm more aware of now for some reason.

I've been giving versions of this question a lot of thought recently, for somewhat obvious reasons, and my own conclusion has been that I'm paying more attention to the more subtle effects of fatigue than I used to. YMMV.

[rifmeister.livejournal.com]

I also think there's a habituation angle? Working with less sleep is something you can [at least partially] train for and get acclimated to.

[mjperson.livejournal.com]

Certainly it's a necessary skill for us astronomers... ;-)

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

But it *is* fun, and I like it enough/it gets me going enough that I pull all nighters for it, and I can't think what I could possibly do instead that would energize me the same way.

That sounds like a good reason to keep doing it.

It is strange to think "you know, I could solve that if I was more awake, but I'm not" , and I don't remember ever really hitting that state back when I did pull all nighters frequently. I wonder if it's an actual change, or just something I'm more aware of now for some reason.

I am spending a lot of time in that state over the past three months. (Substitute "not enough sleep" for "all-nighters" for me.) I find myself thinking that I could have learned a lot more in college if I had gotten more sleep.

[twe.livejournal.com]

> I could have learned a lot more in college if I had gotten more sleep.

Yeah, when I thought I as being so cool, I was actually being a complete idiot. :)

[twe.livejournal.com]

> I wonder if it's an actual change, or just something I'm more aware of now for some reason

It's just something I became more aware of as I got older and more experienced (and read more about the effects of sleep on people of all ages - that might have prompted more looking).

[kelkyag]

I'm never really quite sure why the kids actually continue to put up with me crashing their fun.

You're putting a huge amount of work into a project that a lot of people will enjoy playing. How is this crashing? It's *creating* fun.

I can't think what I could possibly do instead that would energize me the same way.

Can you characterize that energy and what feeds it? Between Madrigal and Torn World, the need that drove me to write assassin games is pretty well fed. You seem unlikely to take up boffer larps, but what does writing an assassin game feed that, say, GMing a sit-down game doesn't?

I've been oddly self-aware about the level to which it is actually impairing me

I notice that a lot more now than I used to, too. I can keep doing physical things at 36+ hours awake, but thinking is pretty much toast. I suspect partially I have a better sense of what I can expect from myself than I used to. I don't much want to admit to the possiblity of slowing down.

[countertorque.livejournal.com]

36 hours is crazy! It was crazy when you were 18. It was crazy when you were 28. And it's double dog crazy now.

Just thought I'd point that out. I know that like Charles, you won't listen. I just feel the need to remind you :)

[kelkyag]

I'm well aware it's crazy. I don't do it often, and don't make plans around doing it, but once in a while things just need to get finished and I stay awake.

Only getting five or six hours of sleep routinely is a different sort of crazy. That I do much too often and need to fix.

[bakedweasels.livejournal.com]

I think it's a good thing to get super-tired doing something you love and be incapable of doing something you don't. As long as it doesn't consistently with your ability to function, of course--I'm not vouching for heroin addiction here.

[bakedweasels.livejournal.com]

whoops maybe replace "with" with "impair" or something